We are a generation of all talk and no action; we lack passion and always blaming our failure on someone or something. “When life throws lemons at you turn them into lemonade” I believe we are familiar with that saying and we forever preach sayings like that. How many of us follow through? How many say it and actually do it? I cannot wait to see the time when we experience the world of women who take responsibility for their own life and are accountable for their own actions? When those lemons are thrown at us we find a way to play a blame game all the time. Blame it on apartheid, why won’t you? Blame it on being abused, blame it on poverty, blame it on rough childhood, blame it on the past, blame it on gender equality and blame everything else except ourselves. We are continuously ignoring our ignorance, ignoring our laziness, ignoring our lazy minds, ignoring our ability to dwell on the past and our full strong capabilities of choosing to feed the devil in us while suffocating the good. No one can serve two masters, one must die and whichever one is nourished will flourish.

Blaming apartheid and your bitter past, so overrated, dull and boring to hear. We sometimes don’t choose what happens to us but we choose what to do thereafter, we choose and give direction to our destiny. Refuse to be broken rather stand your ground and move on to the future. Being looked down upon should not even be amongst the blame game as it also proves our weakness, that is being intimidated. It should be more of an adrenalin pump that drives us to prove a point that being a woman does not mean we are immune to certain things. Our dark past should not determine our future. So many mishaps and misfortunes out there but they should not be taken as the end but the obstruction that needs to be dealt with and terminated. They are there to delay us and try to rob us but change for a greater life must be inevitable. Obstacles are there not to destroy us but to make us stronger, think differently and take another angle of approach to life. Take ownership of your life, learn and take that you learned, twist it to your own advantage and you are guaranteed to fly.

You might have a horrible past background but what makes you think you are different from the successful ones with dark past like you? They might have gone through the worst that your life would look like a roller coaster if compared. Well, the difference is clear, one decides to turn her lemons into lemonades while the other dwell on sucking the lemons as they are without a vision beyond them or even just a small thought of adding sugar to it to make it a little sweeter. They chose to see possibilities in their struggles and confront them head on. It matters not who brought that problem or how it came about but dwelling into a problem simply mean you glorify it and give it so much time and space in your life and it becomes the first and the last thing you see on a daily basis, ultimately seems and badly feels bigger than you. That will only open doors to blame but a woman who understands what she wants will seek confrontation and closure. She has no time to feel sorry for herself but to get up and not allow herself to be beaten. She will discover loopholes that will see her through it all.

There are only two ways to deal with struggles, you either confront them or put them under the carpet so they can come back and haunt you but the secret is to find strength so you can choose wisely. An easy way out is never really as easy as it looks because it always takes you back but the difficult way of confrontation will be a heavy burden that will see you through and get you there and a look back will be a testimony. Easy ways are never the solution they only neutralize the situation now not for eternity, like a ghost they keep reappearing to haunt us. Imagine a time when you can sit back and say thank you for all the bad experiences because they were blessings in disguise. Discover how you can make a life of greater meaning for yourself and others, be resilient, identify, ask then go and get it. We all go through difficult times and great ones and such is life. The secret is to learn to find opportunities in every bad situation or regard problems as opportunities to grow. There are two sides to every situation and the trick is to turn the bad around so you can discover the good in it. Those easy ways are too often the putting blame on someone or something. Always bear in mind that the blame game only delays you and it gives no opportunity to anything but it is like a sheep in wolf skin making you find comfort in it then turn on you.

Women are emotional beings and they go through a lot daily with so much responsibility but they tend to neglect themselves through it all. But the complaining and crying has to end, cry but finish and wipe those tears and look at that makes you cry so you can turn it around. We cannot afford to play victims all the time and it gets us nowhere. It seems most women actually enjoy being in distress and being felt sorry for all the time and go as far as nursing the pain. That is not attractive and all it does is proving the weakness and pettiness in us. Putting a blame for not having the best education is not an option in this century, we forever say “you never too old to study”. Our country has acquired freedom of everything and rights to back us.

Another burning issue is of blaming abusive encounters we come across, a disease this country still has to be cured of. We play victims forever and expecting people to understand that we are victims so we have to be excused for being underachievers. For every action, there is a reaction, good or bad and doing nothing amounts to nothing. Some women have been abused physically and otherwise over and over again sometimes by a family member but through it all today they have success stories to share. Nothing in this world has power over your life except you and your God. Our minds are too powerful and can be dangerous to us if we allow them to overpower us. We live in the modern world of technology with so many gadgets like most common and basic being computers, smartphones and smart watches and lot others. But ponder on this, who made all that? Who has power over all that? It takes no genius to figure that out. Where I am going with this is that we have power over everything, nothing that comes your way is bigger than you. When you don’t set things according to your preference on those gadgets and things don’t happen the way you hoped, will you blame the poor gadget? Any of those smart things will never be smart to you if you don’t learn to handle them, they will only seem too difficult to handle and they will overpower you which will lead you to blame them than your lack of trying hard. It is only difficult because you don’t learn and lazy to maneuver your way around. What do you blame your failures on? Is it worth it?

TERMINATE THE BLAME GAME AND TASTE SUCCESS

Dreams keep us alive, they allow us to get up every day and work hard but it is very sad to see them perish because we put blame on all but us.

“A DREAM WITH NO PLAN OF ACTION IS NOWHERE NEAR COMING TRUE”